We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize