I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
