If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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