she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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