STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
