Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
