Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
