it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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