I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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