This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just pee around me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
