Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
