The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
