I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Blood and glitter go together right?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
