Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
