why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
