Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We're too hungover to prance.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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