yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
