I wannas sexs uuuuu
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
