so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
