i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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