Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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