Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
