I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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