i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
