guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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