Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
