Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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