im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
