The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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