two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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