Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
