So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
