that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
