You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize