Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
