drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize