youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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