This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
