I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
