He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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