my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
