I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
