Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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