I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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