The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
