just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
