Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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