Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
