you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
