i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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