no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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