I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
