Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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