I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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