JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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