There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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