I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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