I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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