Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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